Get a Laugh!

If humor wasn't in your parenting tool kit, you'd better get it now! If you have forgotten how to laugh, you'd better start packing your spotless history of no bad habits now. A peaceful shared home with your adult child will not survive if you are always right...even if you are. Laugh at the small things and negotiate the big things. While I know you take great pride in how you arrange linens and how you make coffee, but listen, those cannot be the hills to stake your shared housing future on when you insist it's your way or no way. Believe it or not, giving up or giving in opens up way more options that could, just could be fun and new. Being flexible and open is the shared housing mantra. Now I'm not saying to cave and abdicate those little bits of daily life that make you the fascinating creature you are. Just be ready to consider different ways of doing things. Grind the coffee in the evening instead of the morning. Geez, was that so hard? Leave your coupons, crosswords and precious crafts on a table out of the daily kid traffic . Wow, revolutionary! Folks, these are not battles that you want to win with unilateral conviction. If negotiation and compromise have not been your strong suits, then this is the lesson that has been waiting just for you.

Way back when, you could get away with "Do it because I say so" but that not only does not fly, it implodes your goal of peaceful co-existence. Back away...just back away from any temptation of making corrections to your early parenting. The parent ground rules that you refined to a fine honed edge 20, 30 or 40 years ago will surely shred any efforts to create an extended family home. The way I look at it, this is a precious opprtunity to get to know, really get to know your child and when there are kids, your grandchildren. Relax and enjoy seeing that you did some things very right back in the "old days." Wait a minute. Are the 1960s and 70s now the "old days?" Well, that's another BLOG post.